A Modest Proposition, to Attenuate the Sufferings of the Involuntarily Celebate Men

On 14 November, 2014, Laci Green, a popular Feminist and YouTuber, uploaded a video entitled Does Sexism Hurt Men?

The debates in the video's Comments Section have been raging on ever since, with nearly 8,000 entries already.  According to Miss Green, it should be okay for men to be short, to cry, to be vulnerable and unmanly.   Which would be fine and dandy, except that women, by and large (including Feminists), have a VERY strong preference for men who are tall, and really want a man to be aggressive, domineering, and assertive, as this video from our counterparts in the Islamic world explains:

Would you believe that the European woman in our times yearns for a husband who would be like a guardian to her...90% of women do not want to marry a weak man, who sits down and cries the moment there is a problem.  They say: 'no, such a man looks like a woman.  We want a manly man'...

The video goes on to describe the attributes of the manly men that women want--exactly the opposite of the traits that Miss Green declares acceptable for men.

Here is a rather cute Comedy Central skit:

about the "clingy, fragile guys who think they're dating you."  The "sad-eyed weasels" and "doughy-eyed munchkins."   The skit seems to have hit some raw nerves, as the video's comment section goes on just about forever.

Some of the Feminist comments:

• Look at all the fuckin offended m'ladys in this comment section lmaooooo
• Well, yeah, because that's a thing that happens literally every single day to nearly every woman and really shouldn't be encouraged in any way, shape, or form. This, however, is discouraging the creepy dudebro behavior in it's humor. That's why it's funny.
• The point isn't that the guy is ugly. The point is that he's creepy and guys who think you owe them something for being nice to you are creepy. Like you. You're probably creepy because if you weren't, you wouldn't be so asshurt over a sketch from a show that airs on comedy central. 
• There are enough tears in this comment section to fill a whole fedora!
• I say good on the women for being able to extract resources from the men without having to give anything of theirs in return. 
• The consequences of feminism: you being butthurt over being decent to a girl that owes you absolutely nothing. Why don't you cry over your my little pony collection about being "friendzoned" by girls who should feel no guilt about not being into your weak fedora wearing ass. Just because you held the door open for me, doesn't mean I'm the love of your life or have to repay you by bearing your children.
• You don't get it, do you? Women are not machines where you insert niceness coins and sex plops out. They have an own agenda, just like you. You making gifts out of your own deliberate choice does not oblige them to anything! There is never any obligation to sex or relationships.
• The consequences of being a creepy misogynist- you don't realize you have zero self awareness.
• The fact is that violence against women is so normalized that it's unfair to be angry at women for being overcautious about rejecting people. Obviously, they shouldn't have to, but after being ignored so often when having given an explicit message of noninterest, and frequently harassed further for the same, it's understandable that some women would begin to prefer to say nothing, rather than explicitly reject someone, until hopefully their pursuer forgets about them. Also, many women don't even make a conscious decision to do this but have been socialized by gender norms that encourage women to prioritize others' happiness before their own, so they don't want to reject people.
• if a guy is gonna be a creepy clinger then no I will have no respect for you. its guys who play up the "I'm just shy and weak" card that claim I have no respect for them when they want to ask me out or sleep with me all because he was nice to me. news flash a lot of guys are nice to girls. and just because we may be pissed at our boyfriend doesn't mean we are gonna start liking the shy weak boy in fact the incessant "compliments" and "only I understand you" make us lose respect factor then an elephant with its legs tied together can reach the bottom of a puddle. It's behavior like this that turns men into stalkers and rapists and we have the same respect for them as these guys which is to say none.
• you neck beard just because you're 'nice' doesn't mean any girl is obligated to date your crusty ass
• If you're offended it's because you see yourself in this video. Learn that you aren't entitled to sex because you're a "nice guy", you're not nice.
• the point is that women don't owe you anything just for being nice. Also, if you think you're stuck in the "friend zone," you're actually stuck in the "oh-god-not-this-guy-again zone" lmao
• Mmmm your tears are scrumpdiddlyumptious! yumyumyumyumyum

Alan Roger Kirby describes what he calls the "80-20 Rule": the top 20% of men are boning 80% of the women, thus leaving 80% of the men high and dry.  While Miss Green (and other Feminists) may claim that it is okay for men to be short, vulnerable and unmanly, such men really aren't going to get any pussy at all, are they?  A standard Feminist battle cry is that No-one is Entitled to Sex!  If you aren't getting any, then too bad!  You can live without it.

Maggie McNeil, however, points out that "male sexuality tends to get out of control when untended."  Indeed, Elliot Rodger cited sexual frustration as the principal reason for his killing spree.  At Wrongplanet.Net (an on-line community for people with autism spectrum disorders), quite a lot of men were posting comments, in the Love and Dating subforum, about how they perceived parallels between Mr. Rodger's sentiments and their own experiences.

From The Incel Project website:

Involuntary celibacy is not recognized by most experts in psychology, virtually no research has been published, and no statistics are available...It does not appear to be a concept taken seriously by those who do not experience it...However, conditions associated with involuntary celibacy may include severe depression, self-harm, mental illness and even suicide.

Nora Vincent, a Lesbian Feminist who disguised herself as a man in order to examine the male point of view, arrived at the realization that male and female sexuality are indeed different:

 Men tend to see sex as a simple biologic need, whereas for women it is "more in the head than below the waist", as she phrases it.

In the spirit of the world being fine with unmanly men, I propose, as a nice gesture, that the Feminists offer Free Sex Saturdays, specifically for the unmanly men who cannot otherwise get laid, perhaps with special invitations for the autistic.  Lack of opportunities for sex doesn't seem to be an issue for the Feminists at all.  A standard Feminist grievance is that she can't leave the house without being objectified sexually all day, and that she is subjected to far too much male attention.  This is the opposite of the complaint expressed by many men.  If there is any truth to the "80/20 Rule", and the ladies are already enjoying quite a lot of sex with a variety of handsome, high-status men every other day of the week, then what would be the harm in administering orgasms to some less fortunate, "creepy" men, for a few hours every Saturday afternoon?

Stuart D'Alessio, Jamie Flexon and Lisa Stolzenberg found that conjugal visitation significantly reduced sexual violence in prisons.  From 2003-2009 in Rhode Island, indoor prostitution was legal, which precipitated  a 31% decrease in rape offenses and a 39% decrease in female gonorrhea cases.   Places like Bangkok have businesses such as Blow Job Bars, where fellows happily go to relieve themselves. You couldn't do that in most of the United States, because prostitution is illegal, and this is unlikely to change any time soon.  Feminists stepping forward to volunteer their services pro bono may go a long way towards reducing crime and disease, in addition to helping men with mental health problems associated with involuntary celibacy.  So long as no remuneration is involved, there would be no need or excuse for the long appendage of the Law to insert itself, and we may successfully tackle this grave public health crisis.

Some Feminists may be inclined to invoke the objection of Individual Autonomy when asked to provide some nooky for men whom they would otherwise dismiss as "sad-eyed weasels" and "doughy-eyed munchkins", and whose tears they consider "scrumpdiddlyumptious!"  Individual Autonomy is generally understood to refer to the capacity to be one's own person, to live one's life according to reasons and motives that are taken as one's own and not the product of manipulative or distorting external forces.  Other people may cite the same objection to compulsory education, taxes, prison sentences, military conscription, and a host of other things.  While some might protest that the scale of objections to women providing orgasms to ugly men is greater than the scale of objections to, for example, paying taxes--there are people who do object so strenuously to taxes that they would much prefer to engage in unwanted coitus with any number of monstrously unappealing persons.

The Feminists could regard the Free Sex Saturdays as a civic obligation, much like voting.  Women have been voting throughout the United States since 1920.  Why not confer to women another civic responsibility?  Herodotus describes an ancient Babylonian practice:

There is one custom amongst these people which is wholly shameful: every woman who is a native of the country must once in her life go and sit in the temple of Aphrodite and there give herself to a strange man. Many of the rich women, who are too proud to mix with the rest, drive to the temple in covered carriages with a whole host of servants following behind, and there wait; most, however, sit in the precinct of the temple with a band of plaited string round their heads – and a great crowd they are, what with some sitting there, others arriving, others going away – and through them all gangways are marked off running in every direction for the men to pass along and make their choice. Once a woman has taken her seat she is not allowed to go home until a man has thrown a silver coin into her lap and taken her outside to lie with her. As he throws the coin, the man has to say, 'in the name of the goddess Mylitta (Ishtar) – that being the Assyrian name for Aphrodite. The value of the coin is of no consequence; once thrown it becomes sacred, and the law forbids that it should ever be refused. The woman has no privilege of choice – she must go with the first man who throws her the money. When she has lain with him, her duty to the goddess is discharged and she may go home, after which it will be impossible to seduce her by any offer, however large. Tall, handsome women soon manage to get home again, but the ugly ones stay a long time before they can fulfil the condition which the law demands, some of them, indeed, as much as three or four years. There is a custom similar to this in parts of Cyprus.

Herodotus obviously disapproves of this tradition, but we do have two examples (Babylon and Cyprus) of women providing sex as a civic function.  In our enlightened, modern times, the State imagines (at least officially) that it has a monopoly on sex, which it taxes once through the issuance of a marriage license--thus making sex a legal entitlement on the part of the man, and a civic duty for his wife, at least during the post-nuptial celebrations.

Surveys have shown that quite a lot of women in monogamous heterosexual relationships are bitterly disappointed with their sex lives.  According to the illustrious Andrea Dworkin:

...for most women, seven out of ten, intercourse does not cause orgasm. The women want, even strive for, orgasm from intercourse but are unable to achieve it...

A woman, on the other hand, is generally capable of satisfying any number of men.  For example, Mark Twain wrote:

In the Sandwich Islands in 1866 a buxom royal princess died. Occupying a place of distinguished honor at her funeral were thirty-six splendidly built young native men. In a laudatory song which celebrated the various merits, achievements and accomplishments of the late princess those thirty-six stallions were called her harem, and the song said it had been her pride and boast that she kept the whole of them busy, and that several times it had happened that more than one of them had been able to charge overtime.

Pornographic actress Sasha Grey is perhaps best known for her work in the gang bang genre.

Maria Ozawa's claim to fame is similar.

Legendary pornographic actor Ron Jeremy has had coitus with thousands of women, and his ten-inch penis performs amazingly on cue.

I recall one film where Mr. Jeremy serviced a dozen-or-so women over the course of maybe an hour.  Very few men could even hope to hold a candle.  To my knowledge, the only man who might have come close was Absalom (2 Samuel 16):

Ahithophel said unto Absalom, "Go in unto thy father's concubines, which he hath left to keep the house; and all Israel shall hear that thou art abhorred of thy father: then shall the hands of all that are with thee be strong."  So they spread Absalom a tent upon the top of the house; and Absalom went in unto his father's concubines in the sight of all Israel.

I don't know how many, but Absalom's father, King David, had a lot of concubines.

Moreover, Mr. Jeremy projects a persona that is very nice, humble, and likeable.  Although, sexually, he is a God among men, he doesn't get cocky about his phenomenal cock.  The vast majority of women possess a very strong preference for tall men (which may explain why so many girls aspire to become cheerleaders for the boys' basketball team).  At a mere 5'6'' (168 cm), and exhibiting a non-aggressive demeanor, few women would have granted Mr. Jeremy so much as a second glance (unless they somehow found out about his enchanted rod).

In addition to the social benefits of reducing crime, violence and disease, and giving unmanly men reason to smile, the Free Sex Saturdays will afford Feminists the opportunity to sample men whom they otherwise would have overlooked during the course of the week.  Given that most women fail to achieve an orgasm (even with the high-status and visually-appealing men), the Feminists may stand a reasonable chance of experiencing at least one good orgasm while servicing a half-dozen-or-so unmanly men during an afternoon.  If a woman considers a particular man to be too ugly, then she can do a doggy-style, and she won't even have to look at him. She may even find an odd gem, similar to Ron Jeremy, and be very glad that she did.  Moreover, the Feminists may require the men to pledge not to objectify sexually nor to cat-call any woman during the week, as a condition for access to their vaginas.  The Free Sex Saturdays will be a win-win all the way around, with plenty of advantages for society, for unmanly men, and for the Feminists themselves.  And, it would all be perfectly legal--no-one would need to be arrested, convicted, and see his photograph in the newspaper.